"
I Wish You Could "
I wish you could
see
the
sadness of a businessman as his livelihood goes up in flames
Or that family
returning home, only to find their house and belongings damaged or
destroyed.
I
wish you could know
What it is to
search a burning bedroom for trapped children, flames rolling
above your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the
floor sagging under your weight as the kitchen beneath you burns.
I
wish you could comprehend
A wife's horror at
3 A.M. as I check her husband of forty years for a pulse and find
none.
I
start CPR anyway, hoping against the odds to bring him back,
Knowing
intuitively it is too late. But wanting his wife and family to know
everything possible was done.
I
wish you could know
The unique smell
of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of
intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames
crackling,
And the eeriness of being able to see absolutely
nothing in dense smoke sensations that I have become too familiar
with.
I
wish you could understand
How it feels to go
to work in the morning after having spent most of the night,
hot and soaking wet at a multiple alarm fire.
I
wish you could read
My mind as I
respond to a building fire, 'Is this a false alarm or a working,
breathing fire?
How is the
building constructed? What hazards await me? Is anyone trapped
or are they all out?'
Or to an EMS call,
'what is wrong with the patient?
Is it minor or
life threatening? Is the caller really in distress or
is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?'
I
wish you could be
In the emergency
room as the doctor pronounces dead the beautiful little five-year
old girl that I have been trying to save during the past twenty-five
minutes,
who will never go on her first date or say the words,
"I love
you Mommy," again.
I
wish you could know
The frustration I
feel in the cab of the engine, the driver with his foot pressing
down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the
Air horn chain, as
you fail to yield right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic. When
you need us, however, your first comment upon our arrival will
be, "It took you forever to get here!"
I
wish you could read
My thoughts as I
help extricate a girl of teenage years from the mangled remains
of
her automobile, 'what if this were my sister, my girlfriend, or a
friend?
What were her
parents' reactions going to be as they open the door to find a
police officer?
I
wish you could know
How it feels to
walk in the back door and greet my parents and family, not having the
heart to tell them that I nearly did not come home from this
last call.
I
wish you could feel
My hurt as people
verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they
express their attitudes of, It will never happen to me.
I
wish you could realize
The physical,
emotional, and mental drain of missed meals, lost sleep, and
Forgone social
activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have viewed.
I
wish you could know
The brotherhood
and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving someone's
Property, of being
there in times of crisis, or creating order from total CHAOS.
I
wish you could understand
What it feels like
to have a little boy tugging on your arm and asking, "Is my Mommy
O.K.?" Not even being able to look in his eyes without
Tears falling from
your own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back
a long-time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing
done on him as they
Take him away in
the ambulance. You knowing all along he did not have his seat belt
on.
Sensations that I
have become too familiar with.
Unless
you have lived
This kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, what we are, or what our job really means to us.
I WISH YOU COULD!